Uncharted Places

About 5 years ago there was big buzz around my college classmates and friends about the five love languages. It seemed everyone was doing the online assessments to see which category identifies how they give and receive love. I always fell somewhere between the “Words of Affirmation” and “Quality Time” categories on receiving love and “Gifts” and “Words of Affirmation”, “Acts of Service” on giving love. Those of you, who know me well, probably aren’t surprised. I wasn’t.

But, is that all there is to it? Five, only five, love languages to choose from (the other that I haven’t mentioned is Physical Touch). How could it be that love can be shrunk to such few categories, how could it be that love can be so predictable, so scientific? Those of you, who know me well, know that this bugs me. You know that I don’t think in terms of categories and molds. You know that I like to think that things, especially love can go to uncharted places. You know that I am bored with these five.

My love language is smiling, laughing, dancing together. It’s walking beside you in the sunshine and in the rain. I feel love when I’m greeted with a hug, when we share an inside joke, when you tease me about something. It’s sharing a meal together, exchanging stories, receiving a text. It’s being heard, sharing the past, talking about the future. It’s making out. I feel loved when you know things about me that I don’t realize. It’s hearing how you feel. It’s helping me accomplish something. I feel loved when you tell me I have food in my teeth, when you say I’m beautiful when I’m actually disheveled. It’s finding time to sneak away. I feel loved when you let me into your world, when you teach me. It’s when you pray for me. I feel loved when we have a connection, when we give, when we care for each other. It’s so many things that can’t be captured in words.

I do realize that there is definitely something to be said for figuring out how “my people” receive love. The boring five are a great way to start out that discussion, but it is my hope that I never put love in a box, that I never think the love language I attribute to someone is simply enough. Love needs to be creative, fun, inspiring.

How do you receive love?