Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Don't let the door hit ya...
I saw your father today. He was excited to see me, to see my son, to see your niece. He asked about me, about my life, about my family. He talked about you, too; he used caution, knowing our past. I have come to terms with your father knowing and caring more about me than you do; it's clear he does. And, I am perfectly fine with you never meeting my son and never knowing who I have become. But, I will never accept you being in the same town as your niece, as my niece, and not pursuing that relationship. I'm glad you're only here a week because your dismissal of her is too painful to see everyday.
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She still eats her rice with a fork.
15 comments:
I just don't understand. She has no idea what she is missing.
I'm glad that you ran into him and I look forward to all of us going back to the farm soon. Makenzie is excited to feed the fish again! And he is always such good company and truly does care about you, Jett and the 3 of us. As for her, I'm with Jessica, I don't understand...I can't even come to terms with not knowing my nephews. Coco loves you Jetty and Baby Garr!
Pitiful...I guess it's true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Don't get hurt falling off your high horses. Have any of you ever considered someone else's perspective?
Annonymous #2: My reason for blogging this post is to express my frustration with this situation, not to prove that I'm better than anyone. I hope it is clear that I have tried to consider ever possible reason/perspective in this situation and I have come out with the same conclusion...I don't understand. In my life, I don't think there could possibly be anything or anyone who could keep me from being in a relationship with my niece and nephews and, so when I've tried and tried to practice empathy in this situation, I come out as confused as I was before. I just don't get it. So, frustrated is where I am left and blogging is how I express my feelings.
It is my goal that my readers are able to also express their feelings about my posts and continue in open, unfiltered conversation. I value and welcome challenges to my perspective. But, this is not a place for disrespect.
Well said, Kimberly.
Agreed. Makenzie, Chandler and Logan are lucky to have such an amazing Auntie Kiki! And what a lucky little guy Jetty is to have such a great Mama!
Kimberly: Blogging about your feelings is a fine thing to do, however when it publicly encites and encourages slander and ridicule of another human being it is never acceptable.
Anonymous - the term "slander" is generally used to refer to false claims about a person's actions or character. Are false claims being made here? I don't think so. I also don't think that this blog entry encourages others to ridicule the person that it was written about. Truthfully, no encouragement is needed.
If I did blog to encourage ridicule, I am positive my readers have the ability to form their own opinions. But, because I didn't, I'm hoping this can lay to rest. I definitely don't feel like anything I've said is unacceptable. I would have no problem telling the person this is about the same things I've written. In fact, I'm pretty sure the reason her and I aren't friends is due to my honesty about issues such as these.
There are things in my life that hold great value and when other people don't see the same value that I do, it's painful, confusing, frustrating. There are things that I don't value, that people I care about value and I want to take this opportunity to care more or try something new. I am sure that my lack of value in those things hurt, confuse, frustrate them, too. (Ok, Brandon, maybe I'll go Go-Karting with you <3 )
If there was a like button, I would like this.
As much as you wonder why I do not peruse a relationship with any of you, I wonder why you don't understand. This is your blog. You feelings. Honest feelings with honest responses. All that show me that I am not welcome and not missing out on anything but hurt feelings and unkind words. If I could have a re-due on parts of the past I would take it but as for today I don't regret how things have turned out. And this reinforces that. So thank you.
Lindsay,
I wish the past could be redone as well. As I said in my blog, I've come to terms with and am ok with you not being in my life, not because you weren't or aren't welcome, but because you made it quite clear that my friendship isn't what you wanted. I tried for a long time. We've said our apologies and were forgiven, but again, I can't make someone want to be my friend, so I had to come to terms with how things turned out. That's what I meant by I'm ok if you don't know my life now.
This post was yes, honest, but it never, ever said that anyone didn't want a relationship with you. I understand that you have your reasons for cutting me out of your life and reasons for not pursuing a relationship with Nicole and Cody, but like I said in this post, I won't EVER understand you not wanting to know Makenzie. And, if you did want to know her, I will never understand why you don't get over whatever it is that is holding you back and form a relationship with her.
That's all this post is about, plain and simple. You can blame me, or even this post and the comments, but blaming isn't going to make me less pained that Makenzie doesn't know you, nor is it going to make it right.
The pain is for you and for her because I care that she doesn't know you and I care that you're missing out on something really, really cool. And, believe it or not, even though we aren't friends, I still care, I never didn't.
What can I say Kimberly, there are two sides to every story. And it is clear that neither of us will ever understand the other's. It has probably been three years since we tried to fix all of this, but in the end you said you wanted to leave the past in the past and that you had moved on. Please don't blame me for not chasing you to be my friend when I am only obeying your request.
As for denying the not welcome part, your sincerity about caring is lost in your title "don't let the door hit ya..." Maybe we have different definitions of caring? Regardless, my point in responding was not to drag everything out for everyone to read but to rather to say you are not the only frustrated by the way things turned out. And while you think I am missing out I might say the same to you. But I don't blog about it or say unkind things about you or your family.
Let's talk about it.
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