An Apple for the teacher.

I no longer have a knot in my stomach and a decision hanging over my head. I feel really great.

As most of you know, I work with a tough population. The actual job position isn’t that challenging, but the emotional baggage that comes with this type of work has gotten the best of me. Often times I find myself narrow minded on what this valley is all about. I only see the worst in it. I see families that don’t know how to or choose not to raise their children with love, discipline and care. I see the consequences of those parent’s actions and I also see their guilt and pain that comes with the realization that they messed up. I see gangs and graffiti. I see drugs used and a sold. I see kids that don’t care, kids that care and don’t know how to stop, and kids that will probably continue down their path of destruction for the rest of their lives. All of this I see far more than the few successes I’ve encountered. It’s hard for me to forget about the things I see, it’s hard for me not to dwell on these things.

I know this valley has more to offer than what I see, so I chose to change my scenery. I’m not giving up on this population. I know that some will succeed and remove themselves from their current place. I know that they will continue to benefit from the program and from people invested in them. They deserve a Case Manager who can better relate to their situation and who is not burnt out. I know some will see my leaving as giving up, as selfish, as weak.

I see this change as taking a chance, a chance that’s lending me the opportunity to try teaching. I’m scared, excited and proud. I’m capable and alive. I’m an English teacher.