Kryptonite

For as long as I can remember, which is a pretty long time, my dad could do anything. There wasn’t a shelf he couldn’t hang or a heavy item he couldn’t lift. He hardly missed a day of work and when he came home from a 10-13 hour day, he’d still have time to coach my soccer team and take out the trash. I’m not sure if he ever noticed that I noticed, but I did.

When he got sick two and a half years ago, something in him changed. His drive to do all of those jobs was still there, but his ability to do those same things weakened. Thankfully he doesn’t have to work as long of hours anymore and now that my sister and I are both grown, there are fewer activities that require superdad.

I understand that parents get older and their health may not always be what it was, but it is still hard for me to see someone so strong and unbreakable in such a vulnerable state. My fear is not about whether he can still hang any shelf or about lifting heavy things; it is, however, about my “superdad” losing a part of who he is because his body won’t cooperate.

My dad went into surgery today. Four hours later he woke up with screws and rods along his spine, bandages down his back and a few irregular heart beats. The doctor said the surgery went well and his irregular heart beats are just an effect of the Anastasia, nothing to be too concerned about. Tonight he’s in the ICU. Tomorrow (fingers crossed) he’ll be in a standard room.

Before my mom left the hospital tonight, my dad requested the Giants game and was having a little too much fun with his pain medication (basically he just pushes a button and he gets a hit). In my heart I know the “who” part of my dad will always be the silly, big guy who flirts with the ladies and loves his family. I just hope that the screws and rods allow him, and us, to experience the “do” part of my dad, once again. Without the ability to do the things he previously could do, he becomes less content with the things he strives for (if that continues, I fear he'll stop trying).

To him, action is what makes him superdad, but it is the “who” that makes him superdad to me. I plan to make sure he knows that, whether or not the surgery has the outcome we’re all hoping for.