Tick-tock

For me, seeing an ex-boyfriend, is always an interesting encounter; hanging out with him is even more of an experience. I am a firm believer that once a couple breaks up they cannot be friends right away. It takes time, typically more time most think.

At the beginning of each relationship I've entered, I vowed that "this one will be different". I thought that I would be better off with him as a friend rather than not at all. I was wrong. I do not believe that I would be a better person by not knowing anyone that I have dated, nor am I stating that I wish them all away; I am simply saying that it did me well to be far away from each of my exes for some time. I have played both the heartbroken and the heart breaker, neither is fun. Feelings that would typically project onto that significant other take time to go away and it's quite hard for them to do so if you are regularly reminded, in flesh, of what you are missing.

Like I said before, time is a good thing. Time has healed my relationship with a number of my exes and tonight exemplified just that. Sherry and I had dinner with an ex boyfriend and it was quite fun. We caught up with each other and laughed, like old times. It is such a joyous feeling to be around him and want nothing more than friendship. I no longer desire him. I don't feel neglected when his attention is directed at another. His presence doesn't give me butterflies. Seeking his approval is far from my mind. I feel free from the heartbreak he caused me and completely neutral toward him. I am finally able to again enjoy the qualities that drew me to him years ago. For him and I, the process was rocky and took nearly three years.

It was hard for me to grasp why we shouldn't be friends and I hated the distance between us. Now I understand how dysfunctional our friendship was before the silence and how much easier it is for us now. Never again will he be one of my best friends, but I am glad he is my friend.