Falling Victim.

For work we are required to read several books pertaining to good customer service and communication. The latest book we’re working on is called Crucial Conversations. It relates to work, but more so to personal life. Chapter 6 really got me thinking. The premise is recognizing your role in situations you may not normally think you have any part in.

After reading this chapter, I decided to put this idea to the test and ask myself what my role is in situations that I would normally blame on others or that I’m simply unhappy with. The first test was my current feelings toward my supervisor. I have become more and more irritated with her because she makes me meet her near her gym or house, she isn’t good at setting up appointments and getting done, what I think, needs to be done and she doesn’t listen to my ideas, which happen to be pretty good. Before I read this chapter I labeled my supervisor a selfish, incompetent, and inconsiderate power-hungry person. After I read this chapter I asked myself, why does she continue to do this and why am I so angry with her? My story was always that she didn’t care about what I wanted or what my skills were.

Well, I started to realize that I’ve never let her know driving out of my way to meet near her house is an inconvenience, nor have I suggested that maybe we meet somewhere more handy to both of us. I’ve also never told her that I enjoy setting up/scheduling appointments and that I would like that opportunity; and, I’ve never once repeated an idea on the off chance that she just didn’t hear me the first time. So, I’m now left with the choice, stop complaining about my supervisor and live with the annoyances or start speaking up and giving myself less of a reason to be the victim.

I’m going to work harder at work and in my personal life on not being the victim. I want to be a pro at recognizing that the people I am surrounded by are not out to get me and that the stories/motives I create for them aren’t necessarily true, just because that's what I see. With this challenge to myself, I also challenge you to try to recognize the stories/motives you place on others. I just bet your feelings will change to something just a little more positive.