Waaaah.

Waiting has probably been the hardest thing for me since I can remember. When I was young I’d get an idea in my head and it’d have to be created that instant or I knew the idea would never happen. The biggest obstacle then was getting someone else to buy into not only the idea, but also to the urgency of the matter. Meaning, I had to make a good enough case for my parents to drive me to the store and buy whatever would make my idea come to life. Sometimes it worked, sometimes I threw a fit. These days this same problem troubles me, though it now looks a little different.

The problem now, like before, is only present when someone else is involved, which means the prevalence of it is much less because I’m more able. If I’m going to create something or do something, I have the means to get to the store, buy whatever it is I must have or do whatever it is I want to do. Also, I’ve learned that writing down my ideas insures I won’t forget and that I CAN complete this project another time. When someone else is involved in whatever it is I “need” to do, my problem comes out as being a little too antsy.

Through my husband, family, clients (past and present) and friends, I’ve realized my schedule isn’t always someone else’s schedule. That my “needs” and my plans aren’t quite as urgent as I seem to think. I still spend too much time trying to convince people that going now is better, that the earlier the better, that my schedule is better, rather than putting my knowledge to use and going with the flow. Sometimes it works and sometimes I throw a fit. I know some of the best times I’ve ever had were unplanned and I also know that my promptness isn’t appreciated all the time (and at times, it’s annoying). I’m learning, I’m working on it. I have been for as long as I can remember and I probably will never get it down just right. Speaking of which...I "have" to go NOW!!